Been out of touch #4

Ok, so I've been out of touch for months! Lots going on in my life - even wrote a book this summer!

To get back to my story -

In the 5th grade I met one of my dearest friends, although it 'pains' her terribly when I refer to her in this way, she was my first 'girlfriend.' Of course, she did not know at the time the connection with her was anything more than a 'normal' one. She has always had a special place in my heart and I am grateful to say that we have remained friends for all of these years. She has been married almost as long as my wife and I (over 25 years) and through everything, has been steadfast in her friendship, honor and respect, even though I know that her Christian perspective might have challenged my being transgendered at some point.

I don't remember much more about the elementary years, except that I had a crush on my 4th grade teacher, but who didn't?

I'll try to take more time and post regularly now that I am back in the swing of things.

Thanks for reading - and feel free to become a follower!!

TransMan

I knew something was up at 5 or 6 years old - #3

This is post #3 to my blog - for an introduction, please scroll down and read Post #1

Hello -

One of my earliest memories involves a neighbor boy - I was about 5 or 6, I guess, and we were playing outside when he decided to pee on the side of the house. I thought it was really cool, but of course, I couldn't do it. I remember walking along the driveway, we had stones that lined the driveway - this was back when driveways were made of cinder gravel instead of white rocks or concrete. I was balancing on the stones wondering why I was not born a boy, it just seemed like I should have been.

Anyway that's the first memory I have that involved my gender. But at that time, in 1960 or so, no one talked about gender identity.... so it wasn't discussed with anyone that I felt that way.

I remember standing over the toilet and trying to pee standing when I was little - with limited success... didn't quite work out the way I planned.

But I tried anyway.

I know this isn't much of an entry, but it's the first thing I recall along the line of my gender questions.

TransMan

Other Blogs - #2

This is Post #2 to my blog - for an introduction, please scroll down and read Post #1 -



I spent a little time yesterday looking at other transman blogs. Many were just used as opportunities to vent - complain about the treatment that guys in 'transition' were having to deal with. Well, to me, that is just how life is....

For the record, I have never been in 'transition' - I have always known who I am.

But: The people around me have found themselves in 'transition' as they decided/figured out how to relate/understand/accept/reject me. I did not have to change, but those around me had to change how they looked at me. Or not.

Some choose not to - and it is always their choice.

I had no choice. My sanity, my self-worth, my status as a part of the human race required me to accept the road I have traveled. Don't misunderstand, my life has not been all roses, but there have been far more roses than thorns.

I find it sad that more men like me don't share their life experiences, but choose to complain about the way others see them.

I can't help how others see me, I can't change it, I no longer try.

You don't have to understand; sometimes, I must admit that I don't understand either.

All in all, it has been an unbelievable life so far, God has been good to me, far better than I have deserved.

Thanks for checking out my blog, future posts will lean toward a history of my life and what has brought me here. If you'd like to, walk along with me. Feel free to comment, but be nice. Treat me as if I am someone you know and love - because I just might be....

TransMan

Welcome to My Life - #1

Hello, this is the first entry to my blog.

As a female-to-male transsexual over 50 years old, it occurred to me the other night that many of you think you have never known a transgendered person.

Just so you know -

You're wrong.

There are so many of us - and, no, you can't always tell.

The opinions and statements in this blog relate to my life - we are NOT all the same, and we don't always agree ---

But, for me, from my perspective, I never was female - I simply had a female body. My gender "compass" always pointed to male, though throughout my life I did try to "make do" with what I had, as you will learn while my story unfolds.

God makes no mistakes, and did not make one with me - I am who I am, regardless of the physical attributes.

I have been a stealth transman since I was 23 years old, legally married, raised children, served in my conservative Christian church, sung in the choir, taught Sunday School, worked for the Federal Government, managed and supervised people of all walks of life. All as a man.

Rejected by my birth family. Not uncommon for us, but still painful. As an aside, my birth family is more accepting now, when you get to our age, we must admit our own mortality - it becomes more important to build bridges than moats.

My plan is to post details of my life, my boring, normal life - and share the strength, trials, lost friends, surgical procedures - both successful ones and those that were not - my faith in God, and growth as a member of the human race.

If you'd like to comment, feel free to do so.

I reserve the right to remove any comments which are offensive, after all, it is my story. My decision is final, and I offer no apology.

I do not intend to reveal my true identity in this process, my wife and I are private people. There are autobiographical books available if you want to read one that has pictures of the "before and after" - you won't get them here.

My posts will follow my life chronologically as well as I can, and I am under no time constraints - so I'll post when I have time, and respond to comments within my posts if it seems appropriate.

Welcome to my life.

Believe it or not, it's a lot like yours - more than you think.

TransMan